11 tips for couples stranded in quarantine
With many cities, states and even countries around the world asking people to stay home and shelter in place to slow the spread of COVID-19, friends, families and couples find themselves stranded together for who knows how long. For couples, this can be especially difficult. For a few days, it can be fine. Fun, even. But as some areas start to hit the two-week mark for on-site hosting orders, even the most loving and understanding partnership (long-term or otherwise) can start to be strained by the lack. from a varied routine, time alone, access to friends, family and hobbies, and the stress of going through a global pandemic that has affected virtually every aspect of daily life. That’s a lot of pressure to put on any relationship. But there are steps you and your partner can take and practice to help deal with this situation together, and maybe even better come out on the other side for that.
Spending time away from each other for work, friends, and play spending all of your time together 24/7 is shocking. In no time, you and your partner had to adjust to new job (even unemployment) and the schedules of life, as well as the stress, anxiety, frustration, anger and sadness caused by this whole situation. So it’s okay to set and reinforce the boundaries of the things you need to keep functioning. For example, say that your partner finds it difficult to leave you alone to do your job; they keep coming to you to chat or show you things, but it’s distracting and you can’t concentrate. Or before confinement, having a beer or a drink with friends was your way to wind down at the end of the day, but now your partner is interfering in your Zoom session. To keep tensions from building up, sit down with your partner and discuss setting necessary and achievable boundaries that don’t interfere with work or downtime.
Keep a schedule
When it comes to setting limits, creating and maintaining a “new normal schedule” will also help you stay on the sidelines. Establishing a schedule that divides the day into sections (such as having breakfast together, then taking time for work, then having lunch together, and so on) will help the everyday feel more normal and ordinary, which in turn will help you feel more normal and ordinary. turn will reduce the depression or anxiety that can cause problems in your relationship. So give yourself a new normal.
Give yourself personal time and space
Taking time for yourself is a key part of a relationship, regardless of pandemics. So keep it up during the lockdown! Reserve a personal space once a day to do what you want: take a bath or a long shower, go for a walk or run, go to another room or part of the house to Lily or watch TV… the important thing is to take the time to recharge and reset, which will help ease tensions or frustrations.
Have a special evening
Before taking shelter in place, what did you do for a date or to spend time together as a couple? Did you have a designated date night with dinner and a movie? Did you hike together? Have you visited any new places in your city to explore together? Did you cook a special meal together? Continue this practice as best you can while staying home and practicing social distancing. It’s the “prioritizing time for your relationship” part that is important, so keep that date night and get creative. Since we all now spend too much time in front of our screens, maybe spend an evening without a screen, cook a meal together, then play a board game or just talk. Or, if you’re used to going to the movies on a date, hang some sheets, build a fort, and throw a movie night that way. Love music? Watch a concert or virtual performance. There are all kinds of ways to keep magic alive, even up close.
Communicate, communicate, communicate
Want to know the secret to a happy and healthy relationship? Communicate. Want to know the secret to a happy, healthy relationship when you are legally forced to face each other for weeks? Communicate. Now is the time to take the time to talk AND listen to your partner in particular. Allow time throughout the week to talk to each other and relax. And that doesn’t just mean sharing how you feel; Also discuss real-world issues like financial matters (especially if you or your partner has been fired, laid off, or seen your hours cut) to make sure you’re on the same page.
Even without being stuck together inside, fighting (when done right) is a normal, healthy part of a relationship. But the added pressures of recent events can escalate the fight over who’s to wash the dishes or take out the trash into screaming matches where no one wins and everyone feels miserable (and then you can’t even get out of it decompress). So if you are going to fight, fight well by not engaging in unnecessary practices like shame or degradation. You are on the same side; sympathize with your partner’s position and talk about it. There’s a saying about relationship fights: it’s not you versus them, it’s you two versus the problem. Remember, it’s you two against the world right now. COVID-19 is the problem. You can face it together.
Take time for your friends and family
Right now, we all feel a bit cut off and out of touch with our friends and family. Getting out and spending time with our loved ones is part of what helps us have full lives and now that has been taken away from us (and even those cool Zoom backgrounds can’t help us fully). But maintaining a social circle and a life outside of your relationship is essential, so save that time by setting up one-on-one video or phone calls with your friends and family to play games, have a drink, watch movies or just talk without your partner. It’s always great to keep your partner connected to your loved ones, but take the time to spend time on Zoom with your friends or chat with your parents.
Pull your weight
It can be tempting to let things go when you’ve been wearing sweatpants for a week and barely left the house, but are still an adult in a cohabitation relationship. Don’t slack off in your relationship or your homework. Yes, we are all facing unprecedented challenges right now, so it’s okay to take a break from yourself and your partner every now and then, but right now you need to support yourself and each other. . This means continuing to put weight around the house with household chores, or even helping out even more if your partner is struggling. What’s a few extra laps for long-term washing up if your partner has had a hard day and doesn’t want to do them? Swallow your pride and do it.
Be kind and forgiving to each other
Right now, neither of us are in the best open space. We can forget little things that we normally wouldn’t have. We can criticize ourselves for small things. We may not feel or act completely like ourselves. When you walk in and see that sink full of dishes or get a dry response when you ask a question, take a deep breath and try to let it go. We all need compassion and understanding right now, so try to let your partner let go. And if there are things they are doing that are really driving you crazy, relax and talk about it with them productively (e.g. communicating and setting boundaries).
To take some fresh air
Most places with shelter-in-place or stay-at-home orders still allow people to leave their homes for essential tasks like grocery shopping and exercise (as long as they practice social distancing by doing so). So enjoy it ! Take the time to take a walk together every day to get some fresh air, exercise and a change of scenery. Going for a walk on your own also works, as it gives you some time alone with all of the above benefits, helping you clear your head and come back ready to see and interact with your partner again.
Try to look on the bright side and enjoy the time together
There is cause for concern at this time. But try to put a positive spin on things – this is a universe-enforced downtime for connecting and spending time with your partner, especially if the two of you are usually very busy. So soak up it! Talk to them, watch movies, listen to music, have sex, try a new hobby together. See it as precious time together and make the most of it. Remember your blessings and who you are quarantined with – there’s a reason they’re your partner. Be grateful for their health and safety, and consider your chance to have someone you love by your side to overcome this ordeal.